I look French? I am French! (so I would say if I were French)

Who has to know I am Canadian?

I have been Frenching up my style lately, not that I actually know what French style is. I guess I won’t get the clear picture until I’m there. I am Frenching it up in my perceived vision of what that means. You know, very, feminine, modest, unique clothing pieces, a great item of jewelry to put the outfit together, high heels and a sprits of the amazing French perfume my BF’s mom brought me from France. A neat, rather than frizzy hairstyle, and a touch of light make-up. This really differs from my usual, quite casual style consisting of a pair of jeans and a top, a cute pair of flats, frizzy hair, and no make-up. I like to consider myself a naturalist in beauty which to me seems tres Canadian, but as I moving to France, why not go all out?

And when they ask me if I am French I develop a slight smirk on my face. I am way to honest to say I’m French. My usual response is, “No, I’m a full blown Canadian, but I am moving there shortly.” One day (hopefully) my answer will be “mais oui!”

Do I dislike being Canadian? Absolutely not. Nor does it mean anything to me to pretend to want to be French. I have absolutely no attachment to nationality whatsoever. I consider myself a global citizen and I like to try on the flavours of other cultures.

The benefit of trying on this French flavour is getting very excited for what France will actually present to me and I feel so confident and womanly in this new look! What is there not to love about it!

And note, the picture above is not me but an actual anonymous French girl I found on the world wide web.

My love is in Europe

I have not been writing much lately because there have been so many things running through my mind over the past 3 weeks. The main thing is that I am here, in Canada, and my FBF is in London, England.

I miss him so much. I was “getting comfortable” in a routine and a lifestyle over the past few months and I am surprised to find myself so sad.

I am, by nature, an extremely energetic person. I love doing things and trying things and learning things but the distance gave me a side-effect of no energy.

All that is changing my friends. It is changing along with my perspective and my attitude. My perspective and attitude changing does seem to be an ongoing theme with this blog, so far.

I had to take a step back and ask what I am doing. Am I really going to spend the entire rest of the summer in a semi-lethargic state waiting to see my love again? And will that, and only that, bring me the peace I want? NO. That is ridiculous!

The change in perspective really shifted yesterday when two important things happened:

  1. I bought some cute pajamas for France and I bought my “getting off the airplane” outfit. What is interesting is when I was shopping for the outfit, I saw a friend/acquaintance who works nearby me who also went through a long-distance relationship. She gave me neat tips about what to bring for after the flight, so I can look and feel awesome for my big reunion! My excitement went from a 5 to a brilliant 10 in a day!!! I AM SO EXCITED TO GO!!! YAAAAY! I CANNOT WAIT!!!!. Another helpful thing is not giving myself permission to wear the clothes until France. The best part of buying new clothes is wearing them, but since I decided not to wear them every time I look at them I picture myself in France!
  2. I got soooo angry at my FBF for absolutely stupidest thing ever! I really realized afterward that this attitude has got to change! NOW! I do not want to negatively affect those I love with my negativity any longer.

So once again, after a 3-week slip, I am miss positive, energetic, happy Laura!

When I bought those things yesterday, I realized that this is my first step in getting ready to physically move. I have the visa and that was a huge step in itself but now I have to get practical. I am going to be busy, busy, busy the next couple of months. And still, this busy-ness is going to be nothing compared to having to find a job and an apartment in France when I arrive!

The angry situation was almost like the “wake-up” to all the negativity I have been producing lately. If I am moving to a different country there are a few essential qualities I need to develop, NOW! These would be strength and confidence. I cannot just wallow around and expect it all to be handed to me in life. My life is my own, individually and I need to take every opportunity to develop myself. This is my opportunity!

I am sure with this new-found busy-ness (I really realized I have so much to do) I hope that the stress of not being together with the love of my life will kindly take a back seat. I am hoping that before I know it I will be with him again thinking “that wasn’t too long!”

I am surprised to find myself reacting so intensely to such minor things in my relationship and not showing that compassion that I felt I once showed. I am glad that I saw this early enough as 3 weeks and I am hoping that being busy will give me an understanding as to how busy (or more busy) my boyfriend is. I am hoping I think before I react and really appreciate the efforts we are both putting in rather than asking for more (a little selfish when there is nothing we can do about the distance right now).

So all in all a big change! I have a new, exciting perspective on the summer ahead of me and a new attitude and appreciation towards my boyfriend and our current long-distance relationship!

Au Revoir Stuff!

Happy Canada Day! Today I have a much-needed break from work so I decided to clean my apartment. The cleaning began with my room and then I realized the overwhelming task ahead of me and the cleaning ended with my room.

When I was cleaning my bedroom I decided to go through my stuff and pick out the things that I definitely want to get rid of before I go. I am sure I will have to do this a few times throughout the next couple of months. Everything that I will end up keeping will go into my parent’s basement until my return, or until forever. I did not pick out everything, just a few key things that I am sure I no longer want in my life. These things include old cameras (3) a huge stack of books that no longer interest me, some cheap jewelery that I could give to others, un-opened bottles of bath and beauty product, DVDs, and CDs.

Now that I have pulled out what I don’t, there is a new unwanted heap on my bedroom floor, exposed. After I completed the task, I look at the pile of unwanteds and thought “Shoot, now it is in the middle of my floor being unwanted rather than tucked away in some cosy space.” Oh well! I decided not to put it back in a closet or hidden space as that may cause me to never, ever get rid of the stuff. As they say, out of sight, out of mind.

Unless I have a super, itsy-bitsy yard sale (consisting of one table or so?) I won’t make any money off of this stuff so I am hoping that people (family and friends) will take what I do not want. The rest will have to go to charity.

With that said, there are definitely a few pieces in my unwanted heap (not physically in the heap but in the heap in my mind) that I can make money from. These include a perfectly good, working colour printer, an Toshiba LCD TV (DVDs included), an awesome, perfect condition acoustic guitar and a drum set. I have a few plans in mind for them. Kijiji and craigslist have been tried and tried again but I never have any takers. But I will try again, along with checking out how ebay works. My only wish is to sell these things to people who will really appreciate them. I have not yet told you the story about my new camera and how I ended up getting the best one possible for almost no money! (Tomorrow’s post, I promise). The man who sold me the camera only wanted to give it to someone who was so appreciative of it and I ended up buying it, as grateful as a person could possibly be! I do believe I have strong attachment to the guitar (16th birthday present) and the drumset (my first “big” purchase that I saved up for two years to buy off of babysitting money). But if I sell these items to someone who really will benefit, than their will be no attachment attached.

My goal for all this stuff: Gone by July 31st, and make money on the drums, guitar, TV and printer.